RUDE ANGLOPHONES!

In Canada, our home and (originally and still technically) native land, we have TWO official languages: English and French.

Most of us speak English.

Many of us speak French.

Not many of us speak both. Most of those who do live in Quebec.

The rest of Canada is littered with Anglophones who are considerably embarrassed that we don't know how to say much more than a handful of words in our 'other' official language. How do we express said embarrassment? Any time someone we know mentions going anywhere or doing anything French, we self-conciously blurt out ALL of our limited French vocabulary in one jokey run-on sentence.

"Oh, you're going to Montreal, eh? Well well! Je m'appelle c'est pommes de terres dans la toilette de mon bibliotheque!...

                                             ...Right! Right? Ha... ha (gulp)."

For some shameful reason, this seems to be a purely Anglophonic trait. Not once have I heard of a Francophone being such a dick in reverse:

"De voyager à Toronto? Oh la la! My potato has a cow toilet library! Free Horse hair on top of many cake birds? What is the time of my name?!...

                                    ...Vrai! Vrai? Tee... hee (le gulp)."